人生

人生就是这样。。。
"Because you are not somebody now!"
是的。。。
我真的沉寂很久很久了。。。

我承认我感情用事，我放很多感情在一些人身上。。。
这就是我了。。。
因为我从来不把他们当成我普通的朋友。。。

我这次很糟糕。。。
不像从前的我。。。一点小事情就把我搞到头昏脑胀！！！
这是很好的机会，敲响警钟！
我竟然浑浑噩噩懵懵懂懂过了两年。。。
就为了一个放不开的事情。。。
我一定要重新振作！

谎言是不需要说明，时间就会把它不攻自破了。。。
我在干嘛？
一直乱乱来。。。
一直到我知道他说了什么谎言，我才整个人松了下来。。。
因为，原来，再厉害的角色，谎言就毕竟是谎言，只要求证就能解决了。。。
谎言真的很脆弱。。。

我在干嘛？
我到底在干嘛？
从前学习的东西在遇到厉害的角色我就开始慌了。。。
就开始什么都算不准，什么都乱七八糟。。。

放心，我很快就又要恢复状态了。。。

朋友们，让你们担心了。。。对不起。。。
或许我也让你们失望了两年。。。
是时候开始发挥了。。。
太久没用，就会生疏。。。
我很赞成。。。

对于对我暂时有误会的朋友，希望你快快想通。。。
你永远都是我的好朋友，只要你愿意。。。
没有你的允许，我绝不会松开我的手。。。

大家加油。。。

Latest update

I went back to Batu Anam (somewhere near Segamat) for Cheng Meng清明...
I saw my parents and relatives... Hmmm...
I remember one poem while i was walking to the LRT Station on Friday...
清明时节雨纷纷
路上行人欲断魂
借问酒家何处有
牧童遥指杏花村

well, mention this poem juz becoz it suits the situation...
_____________________________________________________________________

You're always right, You're never wrong, You're always the best...
You have no friends coz in your dictionary there's no such words as "friends"~
Making use of friends is normal... Becoz that's what you've learned in this society...
You never treat others as human... Don't try to deny it!
F**king girls is a should as they are willing to let you shoot at that time(for the porn movie of his, you may find me, i'll ask someone to send it over to you)...
This is your philosophy, this is how you live in this word~
You've used BETRAYAL, LIES and BACKSTABBING as your weapon...
And when others discover it, you will use your ulti which is FORGETFUL, DENYING and ACTING INNOCENT~
Khairy, you are such a jerk!
Don't think that you are UpNo Puteri then ppl scare you...
Nah~ Dirty ppl with dirty tricks!
You will lose in election next time~
wahaha~
____________________________________________________________________

Madam Tay passed away this afternoon...
It was such a shocking news to me... Haiz...
She remembers me always... I feel so so sad...
I believe we will meet one day...
Sorry, if I have disappointed you...
I will do what I've learned from you and I will do what I should do...
Take care in heaven...
____________________________________________________________________

I hope this person will understand and knows every single TRUTH...
This is what I'm thinking now...
You know me, isn't it? I thought you always will think a lot carefully and with understanding... This time is different, coz we are facing a Level 25 Hero with Butterfly, Basher, Radiance and Divine rapier... Coz even me myself, I also not his fight...
However, if its fated, I can do nothing...
I have to move on...
"You already did what you can do!"
Yes... I think so... However I still will...
Haiz...

Hopefully everything will be alright very soon...
My dear friends ah, you all quick quick come KL study lah~ All choose UM, then i can go find you all... You all owe me anything? If so, I believe you all can do me a big big favor this time!
____________________________________________________________________

Oh ya, I've received a call from a famous debate school that I've heard for quite a long time...
I don't know why they know me and how they get my phone number...
However, I'm happy to get invitation...
Haha... I was wondering if Muar CHHS's teacher Ms Mei Fen know, will she vomit blood... haha~
____________________________________________________________________

Ok... Next on my list is the upcoming event...
I received an order from Mr Johnny that I'll be organizing an event in school very soon...
I think I need a lot of ppl to help me, any volunteer?
haha~ feel free to contact me lah...
I really need you help!
I think this is my first time, and perhaps the last time...
However, I juz hope that my uni life can have some special memories...
Thanks...
____________________________________________________________________

That's all i think...
Take care everyone...
^^

你知道吗？

就算你做错事，就算你欺骗我。。。
我都能原谅。。。
因为你是我重要的朋友，更像我的家人。。。
而且其实。。。
不需要任何理由。。。
难道我们什么都得说出口吗？
你一向来不都不喜欢说出口的吗？
不是什么事情都不愿意说的吗？

我对你怎样，你应该都知道。。。
若你要我发誓。。。
发誓什么都好。。。
我都愿意。。。
因为没有什么，比失去你这个朋友，来得更伤心。。。

这是实话。。。
也是你知道的事情。。。
只是你不愿意面对。。。

可能你觉得我欺骗你。。。
但是从开始到现在。。。
我从来没有欺骗你。。。
更加没有背叛过你。。。
你应该问问其他人。。。
为什么你不问。。。
为什么你不问。。。
为什么你不问。。。

“我承认我不完全相信你，没有人能够完全相信一个人！”

但是这次你一定要相信我。。。
其实我是不是真心的，你应该懂。。。
就算我真的做错什么。。。
如果你介怀我说了狠话。。。
你能够原谅我吗？
能够给我一次机会吗？
我真的不是有心的。。。
难道我们就真的那么经不起考验？

如果是我让你哭泣。。。
对不起。。。我真的不想。。。
我每天都睡不好。。。

我愿意用任何一切，换回你对我的信任。。。
朋友。。。
我不想失去你。。。

为什么。。。

我始终不明白，为什么你要这么做。。。

你伤透了我们每一个人的心。。。

听清楚，是每一个认识你的人的心。。。

准备接受审判吧。。。

出名什么？

有些人，出名善良。。。
有些人，出名唱歌。。。
有些人，出名读书。。。
有些人，出名交际。。。
有些人，出名撒谎。。。

我呢？

哈哈哈哈~
我什么都不要。。。
出名不好，别人会嫉妒。。。
别人会陷害你。。。

真的是可笑。。。
可悲啊。。。可悲。。。

Get Away

改造 行动现在出发
说谎 就塞住你嘴巴
自以为天下无敌吗
还想 和我比较玩命的方法
摧毁一切不真实的假象
现象 幻象 白痴的思想
不要再讲道理
别再让我听到你说话
伸手 啊 伸出了双手
拜托 不要再说藉口
看不清现实的真相
撕开你那层层可笑的伪装
消灭所有不满的想法
撕碎 打烂 你那自以为是的模样
不要再讲其他废话
就让你从此消失吧
YOU GOTTA GET AWAY
你別再挡在我前面
YOU GOTTA GET AWAY
NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME
YOU GOTTA GET AWAY
你別再让我骂你贱
YOU GOTTA GET AWAY
NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME

~Thanks~

(reference: amywenmin.blogspot.com)

我很肮脏

《我很肮脏》

我很肮脏。。。
我双手沾满鲜血。。。
血腥味围绕在我左右。。。
不是不选择逃避。。。
但是只求一个公道。。。
还有那些被欺骗，玩弄，戏耍的人的一个公道。。。
我不是你遇见的其他善良的人。。。
被你欺负了，还默不作声。。。

我恨你。。。
因为你让我觉得我很肮脏。。。
你让我双手沾满鲜血。。。
还有，你背叛我，你欺骗我，你玩弄我对你的善良。。。
我没有想到会是你。。。

我很肮脏。。。
我双手沾满鲜血。。。
因为。。。
我头上的血流不止。。。
心头上。。。
谢谢你教会我那么多可恶的人性。。。
我会报答你的。。。

领悟

最近领悟了几样东西。。。

1。见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话！这是社会的生存之道。。。但是你学会了社会的生存之道，你却忘了你自己是谁。。。男人一样，女人也一样！

2。你教别人看穿谎言，别人就认为你常说谎；你教别人政治，别人就认为你心机重；你教别人看人，别人就认为你城府深。。。男人一样，女人也一样！

3。会被骗的人，他一生都会被骗，直到他醒来。。。也许他永远也不会醒来。。。就算有人点醒他！男人一样，女人也一样。。。

4。好的东西总要在失去才发现，好的人总要在失去才珍惜。。。有时候也不是那样东西好，只是，失去了要不回来，肯定就是遗憾。。。男人一样，女人也一样。。。

5。自欺欺人是没一个人每一天都会经历的四个字。。。你可以永远忽略他，但是你也可以战胜他。。。一些人永远也不明白这四个字，因为没有人告诉他这四个字的威力。。。男人女人都一样，少年老人都一样。。。

6。有口才就是骗子，有样貌就是浪子，有钱的就是凯子，有真心的就是傻子。。。男人一样，女人也一样。。。

7。有一些错误你小时候会犯，你大了还是会犯，你老了都还是会犯。。。当你不犯的时候，就是世界末日。。。因为人之将死，其言也善。。。男人女人都一样。。。

8。世界上没有白吃的午餐，更没有无私无条件的付出。。。所有人做所有事情都是有目的，不是要你有好处，就是对你有非分之想。。。有血缘关系也一样。。。更不必谈没血缘关系的。。。男人女人都一样。。。

9。对别人好，一定要有一个交换条件，否则别人会觉得不可思议。。。（我终于明白为何老师教补习要收钱）。。。因为不是每一个人都真的那么好。。。男人女人都一样。。。

10。每个人都有自己的生活方式，就算是一个很不好的生活方式，这都是他的生活方式。。。道理很简单，别人要死，关你什么事？因此，不能太去要求或强求。。。就算要求与强求，也要看你是什么身份。。。男人一样，女人也一样。。。

11。用你的真心、诚意、知识与经验来换一个朋友，是行不通的！因为世界上没有这么好的事情！This is the world！男人女人都一样。。。

12。世界有很多沟。包括年龄、语言、血缘、种族、文化、背景等等很多很多沟。。。这些沟是不可能统一的，只能互相配合与体谅才能把大沟变小沟。。。但是，切记，那也是小沟，他依然会变回大沟，如果你不去沟通。。。男人和女人都一样。。。

13。尊严是这个世界上买不回来的东西。。。失去什么都行，就是不能失去尊严。。。男人女人都一样。。。不分年龄都一样。。。

14。坏的东西都是来得容易，去得困难；好的东西都是来得困难，走得容易。什么东西都是这样！管他是摸到还是摸不到的。。。

15。关怀是这个社会缺少的。当它多了，社会就不叫做社会了。。。社会就是一个奇怪的地方。。。有着奇怪的定律。。。不管是哪里的社会。。。

16。对人不能一味好，一定要有好，有坏，一些蜜糖，一些毒药。。。因为人是犯贱的！男人女人都一样。。。

17。世界上有各种各样的人，一种米养百种人。所以你要接受这个事实。。。跟世界作对，世界也不会让你好过。。。

18。帮忙别人是好事，是人生最快乐的事。但是，不能太执著。。。因为能帮就帮，不能帮，也就如孔子说的，“别自取其辱”。。。有些人天生就是不能接受帮忙或不应该帮的。。。

19。当你读完圣经、佛经、可兰经之后，你会明白，除非你是神，你身旁的人是佛，你身旁的人的身旁的人是先知，否则世界根本不可能会美好。。。没有几个人能像书中所写那么好。。。更没几个人会坚持学习书中的神圣道理。原因很简单，当他们办到的时候，他们不觉得是这些教导他们的书的功劳；当他们办不到的时候，他们就会觉得这些书都是在装神弄鬼，迷信不好。。。这就是人类！男人一样，女人也一样。。。

20。你要珍惜对你好的人，因为世界上真的没有几个人是有心的人。。。真情的人很多，真心的却很少。。。如果你真的无法学会珍惜，那么就学习怎么维持你们之间的关系与定位吧。。。这世界上最好的定位除了亲人，就是朋友，绝对不是情人更不会是兄弟。。。

21。如果你有梦想，就去追求；如果你有遗憾，就去弥补；如果你有问题，就去解决。。。总之，不要让自己后悔。。。因为人生只有一次。。。你的21岁也只有一年。。。就算谭校长都知道，年年十八，是不可能的~

22。这世界上没有人是不知道什么是政治、哲学、经济、做善事、做坏事、说服人等等一切的一切。。。因为这些东西你都会在生活中找到。。。你会了，只是你不懂得名称；你做了，只是你不觉得你做了！因为你不去了解，不去明白，你不会知道你在干嘛。。。这就是人类。。。你可以选择去知道，也可以选择不要去知道。。。就像persuasion课本里面说的“Tell you theories here is just to let you be clear. Even if you don't learn the theories here, that doesn't means you don't know these things!”(告诉你道理与理论只是要让你清楚明白。就算你不读这些道理与理论，但也并不代表你不会这些东西！)

23。世界上所有道理都是非常简单的。。。复杂的是人类。。。当你拼命告诉你自己要简单的时候，其实你就是在复杂了。。。因为简单或复杂不是说出来的，是做出来的。。。然而，在社会里，若你太简单，你会被伤害，无论你面对的对象是大人或小孩，老人或年轻人，简单或复杂的人。。。简单就是反自己，因为你本身就是复杂的构造。。。

24。有时候，简单的一句话或一个行为可以变得很复杂。因为重点不在谁说，而是谁在听或接收（receive）。。。接收的人简单，他就简单；相反的，就复杂。。。也就是这样，所以才需要读沟通(communication)。。。哈哈哈~

25。你如果在读这篇部落格，你会明白，我真的很爱念，也很多想法。。。你或许不会想到的是，让我提醒你，我是在分享给你我的知识与经验，是你一生都买不到，更不会有很多人会告诉你。。。你也可以更了解我！就是要你了解我，否则给你看那么多日记干嘛。。。

Politics, Philosophy, Economic

Politics, Philosophy and Economic...
There's a subject's name is this in this world, and you can only get this subject at one University...

Why there's this subject?
Because according to studies, these 3 things is the things that makes this world functioning...

政治、哲学、经济。。。
是的。。。就是这三样东西。。。
政治、哲学与经济让这世界运转。。。
曾经有一位好朋友叫我去读。。。
而他现在已经在苏格兰读医科了。。。

这个科系我读不到。。。
不过平常我还是对这三样有一点点研究的。。。

我对政治有兴趣。。。
我对哲学有兴趣。。。
我对经济也有兴趣。。。

暂时不说了。。。
stop here, got interruption...

Daily

so...
what did i did today?
besides celebrating gillian's birthday...
let me think...
meeting in the morning, then backdrop design soft copy, call syuen get quotation again, sms marketing content, online registration form, what else i cant remember...
aiks~
really old liao...
survey haven finish, evaluation form still half way also haven reach... walaueh...
_________________________________________________________________

okok...
continue...
juz now got some interruption...
aiks~
i've forgotten again liao...

really old liao...

daily...

Juz to make sure what i did today, in order i have things to write in report...
if not all come together, i will become very pening~

Today meeting with MDeC, Cisco and in2u(i really like the founder of in2u lo, i felt she is a very nice woman, haha~ dunno why, feel like very friendly and sincere)...

Besides that, do telee-survey...
this one really !@#$%^&*()+_)(*&^%$#@, but can kill my time... (have to continue tomorrow)

Then ACCORDING TO THE TASK LIST, I do the evaluation form analysis...
This is i really tio-bomb lo...
wah... dun say liao...
!@*()_+_)(*&^%$#!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!QWERTYUIOKBVCD#$%&^*(*QEDSFCFVSEDT(*^$!@#$%^&*(!!!


Well, I have to say that I got nothing to do liao besides these things(but 100 survey form, 50 SME and 50 ICT SME company, and the participant evaluation feedback form is for more than 200participants with 10 talks and each talk evaluate in 5 categories... so, you can imagine...)... Luckily yy is here... I think most of the thing is passed to her dy... I really have no idea what should i do for the Funding Forum and Ipoh Roadshow and e-SME program... Coz letters job is all in YY's hand... perhaps i should go and 'grab' some to do... I dunno lo... Don't say i no job do lo... I really no idea, coz these also haven finish and i suppose yy doing all those basic things... I dunno ahh... But tomolo i will try to do some other thing...

ok, that's all for today... yes...
5.30pm, i leave, i won't stay this time... coz i really dun understand...
but tomorrow i still have to continue...
____________________________________________________________________

What's next on the topic?
Oh ya, today me and chenfui go work together, coz my tyre puncture... haha~ dunno when puncture de also... and today i not so sick liao lo... happy... recover...
today ah... i dunno lah...
for these few weeks, no good sleep, no good eat, hair keep falling, sick... in conclusion, bad...
whenever these happens, i know, i am berry vex liao...
aiks~

GOD bless me, bless me so that i don't met any xiao ren...
oh ya~
btw, today i receive something from tickle.com, and since i so vex... i did the survey...
you all see accurate or not ya...

Past:
The Hierophant exerted a significant impact on your past. This means that at some point in your past, you put the needs of someone else before your own. You may have done this out of respect, because you sought approval, or because you value the good of the group over your own individual inclinations. Your actions at this time, and the reactions it elicited from others, brought you to the point you're at today.

The Hierophant is the sixth 6 in the Major Arcana. He blesses the two priests who are kneeling at his feet. Between the priests are a pair of crossed keys, signaling the unity of heaven and earth. In his clothing, each color is highly symbolic: a red robe representing the kingdom of earth, the white trim for purity, and his gold triple crown representing the kingdom of heaven. This card symbolizes tradition and the pressure to conform. The Hierophant is the educator, seeking to communicate a common religious or philosophical viewpoint in a common language that all people can understand. The Hierophant also rules marriage, public education, and traditional medicine. He signifies the need for approval, as well as the need for social values.

This card may have affected the overall tenor of your life, or just a particular area. Following are a few possibilities for how you experienced these influences in your past:

• You may have made sacrifices — such as working for the family business, babysitting siblings, or giving up social time to spend time at home — for the good of your family.
• In your social life, you may have given up some of your individual preferences and desires in order to get along with others.
• You may have been in a romantic relationship that required you to make a sacrifice, either for your partner's well-being or in order to achieve the approval of those outside the relationship.

Future:
Your future, as it currently stands, is represented by the third card you chose. The Emperor is the card of logic and reasoning. At some point soon, you may be faced with a challenge that forces you to develop your leadership and problem-solving skills. Allow clear emotions to inform your reasoning, and seek the counsel of a wise authority figure. When an opportunity presents itself, trust that the skills you'll build, while hard-won, will be for your greatest good.

The Emperor is the fifth card to appear in the Major Arcana, and stands for authority and leadership. In this card he sits on his throne, holding the ancient Egyptian ankh in one hand, symbolizing wisdom. In the other hand sits the globe of dominion, suggesting his power. He is wearing a suit of armor and is flanked by rugged mountains, symbolizing strength. The Emperor is the Earth Father, representing logic and clear reasoning, as well as your paternal instincts. This card is can be a sign that you may need to seek counsel from someone wise, or that you need to deal with an authority figure in your life.

More than any other step of life's journey, this card represents the lessons you must learn and the experiences in store for you in your upcoming karmic destiny. This may impact you in any number of ways, including:

• A challenge in your love life that will require you to develop creative solutions.
• A project or job that you'll be able to take the lead on and as well as provide direction for others.
• Seeking advice from a family member who has the wisdom needed to teach you the skills necessary to take advantage of an opportunity.

P/S: I dun want to let others see my current situation... wakaka...
okok...
sleep la, good night...

Its time for you to ...

XX says:
tell u
XX says:
is time to end ur single life
XX says:
everythg wont dat complicated d
雅福病了。。。 says:
我明白你的意思
(I understand what you mean)
雅福病了。。。 says:
你要说的就是，我只要不是一个人
(what you trying to say ism as long as i am not single)
雅福病了。。。 says:
就可以光明正大去关心别人，因为我有女朋友了嘛~
(then i can concern others as i wish, coz i got gf le mah~)
雅福病了。。。 says:
别人也不会误会
(others wont misunderstood lo~)
XX says:
clever ppl realli clever ppl
XX says:
nonid explain more
XX says:
haha
雅福病了。。。 says:
我也不是没有想过。。。
(not that i never think before)
雅福病了。。。 says:
可是我觉得没有适合的人选?
(but i think no appropriate candidate?)
雅福病了。。。 says:
哈哈。。。
(haha...)
雅福病了。。。 says:
不然就是，我觉得我的女朋友会很可怜
(and i think my gf sure very kesian one...)
XX says:
hmmm
XX says:
hahaha
XX says:
wont 1 la
XX says:
jz less ur emo level
XX says:
tat will be alrite
XX says:
u wan to find sum1 who noe wat u thinking
XX says:
sum1 who wont botherin u
XX says:
u got many ppl share wiv ur stuff d
XX says:
so wat u wan is not jz a companion


yeah yeah... i agree...
haha...
i once said before i like clever girls...
i once said i juz need a companion...
i once said i...

anyway...
who wants to apply for the job vacancy of becoming my girlfriend?
haha~

I'm sick

As i wished earlier...
Today i really become berry sick...
walaueh...
sick sick sick...
however, when you are sick, you can actually know which friend is really concerning and care for you...
yeah...
Thanks ah seng for accompanying me today... haha~

sometimes many ppl like to call their friends "brother", but for me, this word is banned.
Why? simply because a lot of ppl juz say "brother brother" for fun! when you are in trouble, they will forget you! They won't even help you when you are in trouble and he actually can help! Haha~
This is the so-called-brother lah...

Cut the crap la!
If you are really my brother, you should do what a brother should do! Not juz use your mouth to say... This is pure and white society, not complicated and black society... Wahaha~ Perhaps like xl told me, "this kind of ppl how can trust one?"... true indeed... hahahahaha~

ok~ i want to rest liao... see ya...

CARE

how do you define the word - care?

hmm...
when we are small, we dun like to let our parents to ask where we went to, who we go out with, what we do. We always think that this is a type of interfering our life. However, when we started to grow up, we will understand that this is actually the way they show us their care and love.

1. Where you go?
This is because they hope that you are safe and always go to the safer place! Especially in KL, a lot of place is dangerous!

2. Who you go with?
This is to ensure if after 12am or whatever happens, they will know who to find! And this is to also ensure that you never mix with any bad company!

3. Have you had your lunch/dinner?
This is to ensure that you had your meals. Because you may be too busy or forgotten to eat. Gastritis ahh, or whatever lah~ anyway, not good to your health!

4. What are you doing?
This is just to update your status lah... Perhaps can provide you some advice ler... Simple as that...

Care for you
Actually its very simple
Really simple as ABC
Everyday and anywhere

haha~
so, everyone can care your family and friends... its very simple, juz tekan your hp, "how are you?" haha~ berry easy ler...

my mum always call and nag me... no~ care me~ hahaha...

________________________________________________

"i'm juz kidding..."
"i know you are not kidding..."
"what makes you think that i am not kidding?"
"i already know you for 4 years..."
"haha~ what a good answer..."

this is a short conversation today with a friend that i care and cares for me as well when im actually dota-ing with sengkwan and chewming!

yeah la...
so fast hor... 4 years liao... i thought it is juz only 3years?
haha~ dont bother lah... as long as you know me, understand me, then ok liao lah...

We are not like kids le lo...
communication and friendship takes time...
i admit...
thanks for understanding me...
^^

罂粟花

罂粟花

这是我在澳洲旅行时拍摄的。。。
我喜欢美美的东西。。。
这是真的。。。
因此，我看到的东西，很多都是美美的。。。
比如：人与人之间。。。

很多时候，你真的不能看外表。。。
或许是因为我看了很多美美的东西。。。
但是往往他真正的内涵，都与外表不tally。。。

罂粟花很美。。。
但是还是一种毒品。。。

一个人，对你再好，如果他一向来都是坏的，那么那好，或许也是假的~
有些人，有钱，有车，但是也不一定就是好的。。。
就像罂粟花一样。。。

看人，还是不能简单的看的。。。


庆幸我的朋友都是真的美美的。。。哈哈哈。。。

我想做一个普通的逃兵

“我想了很久，该怎么样来给你回应！如果你认为你还是小孩子，那你就把上班当作是玩泥沙吧！而如你自认是大人了，那你就以乐业敬业的态度，趁机尽量吸收知识、经验、处事待人的道理和建立好人脉关系！好自为之吧！”

这是我收到的信息。。。当我求救的时候 。。。
我花了一些时间思考。。。其实问题不大，只是最近真的很烦。。。
烦到我都患得患失，心不在焉，行尸走肉。。。

最近一段时间，我面对了一些问题。。。

“你那个不叫做猪，猪会动！你根本是死人！尸体来的！动都不会动，根本怎么样都醒不来！你真的是身心疲累。。。”

没有错。。。我真的很累。。。身心疲累这四个字对我来说真的是很好的形容词。。。
我考虑放弃。。。不是放弃，是逃避。。。
转去澳洲，不想再浪费时机与机会。。。
更不想留下来纠缠些什么。。。
我觉得玩完了，没什么好玩的。。。
感觉也是没有任何值得留恋的事情。。。
虽然还是有未完成的事情，不过。。。看来我也不必要去完成了。。。
不懂。。。反而我是被一个没有直接关系的朋友挽留。。。
其实我真的很伤心。。。

“我明白，你是彻底失望。。。绝望透顶。。。”
真的，我终于找到这个形容词。。。
我终于明白为何我会要放弃，为什么我会哭泣。。。

郭老师教过我一句格言，“哀莫大于心死”。。。
我觉得真的很对。。。
至少此刻的我，深深明白这个道理。。。


为什么你要会那么多？
为什么你要有那么多抱负？
为什么你要去扶一个扶不起的阿斗？
为什么你要撑一些不争气的人？
为什么你要付出那么多？
为什么你要体谅那么多？
为什么你要着想那么多？
为什么你要挣扎那么多？
为什么你要坚持下去？
为什么你要读出别人的心思？
为什么你要弄肮脏你的双手？
为什么你要太聪明？
为什么你要相信？
为什么你要认真？
为什么你要真诚相对？
为什么你要去受委屈？
为什么你要去做吃力不讨好的事情？
为什么你要自己找委屈？
为什么你要自己受苦？？？
为什么？？
为什么？？？？？
为什么。。。

和平常一样。。。
我已经做好最坏的打算了。。。
最坏的打算。。。
竟是最最简单。。。
做一个普通不过的人。。。
做一个普通不过的逃兵。。。
我想做一个普通简单的逃兵。。。

诗、诗、诗。。。

《无题》
因为我把
像豆腐的心
完全信任的交给你了
为了庇护你
被周围的人家说
你会背叛我
我将摔烂的豆腐
密封似的煎炸起来
变成豆干后
只要一切开
泪还是会溢出来

《无题2》
就像捧着盛满的水陪跑马拉松一样
口渴时喝一口就丢掉
或倒在热热的身体上浇灭汗水
然后下个和以后的马拉松比赛由接着水龙头的水管覆盖了记忆

《多余》
将我的记忆
故意打翻
神经兮兮地寻找
之前把你丢弃的画面

重播
然后撕裂
你在我记忆里的票根

某天
因为你在我面前的一口呼吸
让我再不要脸的捡回你

我知道丢不掉你
反反复复
劝自己忘记
记得 再忘记

你伤了我多少
都不操纵我对你的爱了
而我选择喜欢与恨你
也只是多余而已

《兔子》
做你的兔子
砍荆
披棘
然后睡一觉
让你呼啸而去

《写你的诗》
想为你写一首诗
是你让我
写下了那么多首诗
任凭
过往诗里的抽泣
都是每个夜里
默默粘湿枕头的证据
而此时诗里的开心
都是现在追随的梦境
只想写一首
你会
不小心读起的小诗

《钨丝》
你暗示我你是钨丝
灯泡不能太亮
而我傻傻的
用黑布包着灯泡

埋藏我要的光亮
烧坏了你这个钨丝

KL Technite 2008 - Facebook Garage

My, Alice, Yinyee

CheeMing, YinYee, Me

Yinyee and me

Cheeming And Me!

Me and FuiKoon!

MIRC Family!
Me and Allen!


Erm... Not me not me...

Latest from Bangsar ViIIage...

空气+水= 如影随形

卿提：
像空气
明明就环绕着你的体肤
直到自己都无法抽离你
给你呼吸
给你生命
还负责扮演不在意

我回：
像水
明明就跟随着你的形状
直到自己都失去了自我
给你滋润
给你生命
还负责扮演很随便
如影随形

Meme

Meme from Eileen~ Since she reminded me that she tagged me, so i will play this meme...

haha~

1. When you look into the mirror…

I will either a) be thinking that i am actually not bad b) be thinking that i am actually not good also or c) be thinking of a chinese proverb... haha~

2. When did you last saw someone picking their nose?

No idea at all lah~!~!~!~!

3. What are you doing now?

Writing a meme that is from Eileen... haha~ wanted to post some chinese blog actually...

4. What would be the best birthday present?

I think lah, erm... Last birthday got more than 100people sms + friendster + call me... I hope this year more than this number... And any present will do, coz as long as you got buy, you got sincerity lah... No nonsense lah... I had enough of it...

5. Who do you think it hot right this moment?

I totally think the person would be Tony Pua Kiam Wee... you can't say you don't know this guy... Coz if you don't know means you are... Out le lah...

6. Who annoyed you recently?

Someone in my office??? Some not biadap blogger? Perhaps lah... but ok lah... Nobody annoyed me as all of my girl friendssssss got good results in their SPM and STPM... and somemore another one coming to KL to have industrial taining!

7. Where did you meet your loved one? If you have yet to find, where do you plan to meet him/her?

Which loved one? I don't know how to answer... I have no plan at all... Just hope that we can i love you, you love me, full heartedly... Then can liao... So, no comment~

8. How will you use this meme for the benefit of mankind?

I tag somebody like eileen tag me lo~ tag... Jonathan, ChenFui, Amy, Shiying, Joyce!

靠得住

“有人说，看了《色．戒》才知道女人靠不住，看了《投名状》知道兄弟靠不住，看了《集结号》知道组织靠不住，现在看了黄家定，就知道同志一样靠不住。”
（当今大马，http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/79621）

我看到了这句话。。。马上就笑了起来。。。
“哈哈哈哈哈。。。”
一贯的，阿kwan会看我在笑什么。。。

是的。。。
有时候，真的不懂什么人才是可靠的。。。
或许，应该说。。。可靠的“人”，存在吗？

在这个社会里面，很多人都带着一个面具生活。。。
这是情势所趋。。。能有多少人是真的坦诚相对的呢？
少。。。

不过，还好我周围多数人都是靠得住的。。。
我想，这是值得我感到欣慰的吧。。。

Yeah... I am emo~

i never say that i am not emo...
people who know me long, like you... knows that i am very berry emo de...

haha~
another 2 person who knows that i am very berry emo has juz got their results for STPM today~

walaueh, so good... unlike mine... haha~ but this is expected de lah~
this time dun aeroplane me, make sure u treat me makan... wahaha~ this is not about makan, but sincerity, ok? wahahaha~

nowadays practicing keyboard...
yeah... can sendiri main sendiri nyanyi pula...
life's great...
wahaha~

生日快乐

“生日快乐。。。”
“谢谢。。。”
“你知道我是谁咩？”
“嗯。。。你再说两句话。。。”
“哈哈~你知道我是谁咩？”
“雅福。。。”
“哇~这样你都认得出来。。。你好象很久没有听到我的声音了哦。。。”
“哈。。。认得出。。。”
“你的声音怪怪的。。。在睡觉啊？”
“没有啊~”
“在读书？”
“不是啦。。。”
“在等电话？”
“是咯，在等你的电话咯~”
“哈哈哈哈~有咯~那么好在等我的电话！”


我忘了问你好吗。。。
今天是你的生日。。。
生日快乐。。。
今年我不能和你庆祝。。。
而且。。。我们也很久没有见面了。。。
你会想我吗？
我曾经一直告诉我自己要忘记你。。。
更不要想起不愉快的事情。。。
因为我时常都会想起。。。
但我却一直都在告诉自己，今天是你的生日。。。
我怕我会忘了。。。
我以为一两年不打的号码会忘记。。。
没想到。。。
在回忆里翻阅。。。
我依然想到了你的号码。。。
原来，你的一切都是那么容易记得。。。
我都不曾忘记。。。

今晚记得关灯睡觉。。。
晚安。。。
还有。。。
生日快乐。。。

P/S：跟你谈话，感觉很像从前。。。但是，我还是得接受，这一切。。。都已经变了。。。不懂你会不会看我的部落格。。。希望就算你看了，也不会像那时那样~我们都冲动，我们都固执，我们都很幼稚。。。ok,我幼稚，你不幼稚。。。哈。。。我相信，我们都长大了。。。谢谢你给我回忆。。。没有你，我的人生一定有一段空白期。。。有时候，我真的真的很想念你。。。有时候，想起过去我真的会哭。。。结果，因为你给的回忆，两位好朋友听过我哭泣。。。一个是在PJ的男性朋友，一个是在麻坡的女性朋友。。。你让他们很震撼。。。哈哈~我现在过得很好。。。会更好。。。你要加油，因为你从来不让我失望。。。

Pictures! Pictures! Pictures!

Prof. Yau teaching Sex Education - "Can you believe the girls are so easy to cheat? haha~"

This two sisters always stick together in school...

Kung Fu Champion have to perform for everyone... Da Cai Xiao Yong...

I've started to put pictures into my blog...
So... I choose to put my best friend in PJ as priority, the first to kick start...
I think many people (especially Muarian) will be very curious who is the one mixing with Fan Ya Fu and who dare to be his groupmates... And perhaps you wanna know who always limteh and makan with me...
Haha~ these 4 people are my closest friend here... my comrade as well...

It took one year time before 5 of us get together...
Yes, I can proudly say that they are the best...
As we already achieve one mission-quite-impossible in last year's exam...
Haha~ this is what I really feel proud!

Who says that you can only score with good english?
Who says that others don't have good ideas?
Who says that this and that must be rejected?
Who are you and who you are to make such a statement?

Together, we excel~

I'm sure we can achieve a lot more in the final year...
Although we are not REAL brothers and sisters but our relationship is not less than REAL brothers and sisters...

Perhaps there's time of difficulties. but there is nothing we can't fix...
This is not an ability, but this is a spirit~! A team spirit~!

My friends, you rocks...
Friendship Forever...

终于。。。

下了一场大雨。。。
我淋得很湿。。。
全身都很湿。。。
不过，就像新人说的。。。
今天是愉快的一天。。。

变态佬说我很emo。。。
然后很像双重人格。。。

其实他的形容很对。。。
哈哈~我都是这样的。。。

明天是一个新的开始。。。
我知道。。。

谢谢每一个你们。。。

What happen to you?

Dear yafu,

I don't know how to start this letter... But what has happened to you?
You've been having insomnia for so long... I know there's something in your mind...
You are not looking well~ Like unhappy... What has happened to you?

Let me tell you something... Go slow... Go soft... Go back to the original you...
Since this year, you've been attacking ppl...
Yes, indeed, they may be doing something wrong, to others or to you...
but, so what? that is what they did, not what you should do~
you are not such ppl, you knew it...

I know you can be very evil very bad very offensive... so?
you wish to be like that?
keep it back... this is not what you've learn...
how are you going to face your parents? your family? your friends? your students? all those who treat you like father, brothers, sisters, teacher, role model...

I know there are times of difficulties... I know you've been suffering so much...
Please remember one thing... Ri jiu jian ren xin... You will know who a person is, when you know him longer and deeper...

Control your temper, you've been losing it for quite a long time... Control it, dun let it control you! Control your hatred, dun let it control you! I believe you can do it...

Don't you ever forget those who loves you, who really cares for you... ah~ there's many type of people in this world... sometimes what they did is also not what they want... you must, must forgive others... MUST! This is what you are being taught to do...

See, people worrying for you... they know you are sad... You are so bad... make people worry... aiks~ you want them to worry for how long? I don't know your answer... you should know it yourself....

Hey! There's lots of difficulties in front of you! And challenges...
I know you have a very clear vision ahead... you're leaving this place very soon... very very soon... just spend the rest of the time wisely, help more people that you can help... give them the encouragement they need... AT LEAST, THEY CAN SURVIVE IN THIS SOCIETY!~ THEY CAN SEE THROUGH THIS WORLD... THEY CAN UNDERSTAND...

i know you can do it... you will be alright...
i know you are a human being, you also have weak time...
be strong... you are just off track for 3 months... come back... spend some time to chill down...
talk more to your old friends, they'll bring you back to where you belong to... coz they know you, they trust you, they understand your behavior...

Lastly, drink more water and rest earlier... you always ask others to do so...
but you ler?
alright~ i shall let you rest for tonight after listen me nagging...
take care... i love you, and please spread the good deeds and love around you...
Impossible is nothing... you will be alright soon...

yours truly,

范雅福

Chew Mui Fen vs Tony Pua

I shall let you see why i support Tony but not mihun goreng~!
I juz randomly choose some question that they answer in an interview of malaysiakini.com

Will you support the idea of abolishing the New Economic Policy (NEP)?
Chew: I thought the NEP has already ended. The most important thing is that we must make sure that [...] you can actually help one particular race but in the expense of the other race. Everybody must be given a chance to have their own business and work together to create a win-win situation.

Pua: Absolutely. We believe that the NEP as it stands today favours the rich, wealthy and influential particularly from the bumiputra community. It does not benefit the bulk majority of the bumiputras as well as the non-bumiputras in this country. So inequality in the country has been increasing rapidly and only with opposition and it's replacement with a policy that focuses on merit and needs, will the equality be reduced.

WHAT THE HELL IS MRS. GU, OPS... IS MS. CHEW THINKING? I THINK WE NEED TO SEND HER BACK TO SCHOOL~!~!

Will you support that Petronas' accounts be made public?
Chew: I thought they already have their annual report. I thought the annual report is actually the accounts for (listed) companies to disclose to everybody.

Pua: Absolutely. I think it is important because Petronas controls a huge amount of wealth of the nation. Oil resource of the country belongs to the people and Petronas being the agent that manages the oil wealth of the country must be transparent for the people in order to show that the money has been invested and reinvested and distributed fairly


WALAUEH~ YOU ARE REALLY THAT DUMB? THAT'S WHY YOU KENA MR. COW CHEAT LAH~ DUN BE SO STUPID LA... YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL MR COW? HE SURE WILL CREATE ALLIANCE AND REBEL... BY THEN YOU WILL REGRET!



Ok ok... these few days i am always joining to listen to Tony's Ceramah... So if you want to find me during night time, find me at his Ceramah~

Anyway, I must make clear that I don't support any party... I juz admire this guy Mr. Tony Pua Kiam Wee so muchhhhhhhhh~!~!~!

Support Tony~

这两天

这两天。。。
其实也没什么不好。。。
当然，也没什么特别好。。。
嗯。。。
心情不好吗？
其实也不会。。。

只不过，大笨战说，看我的脸就知道我心情不好。。。补充说，我的心情很容易从脸上看得出来。。。
是吗？
我不懂。。。
印象中我的喜怒哀乐不是那么容易看得出来的。。。

我可怜的格格一看我的信息，就问，你心情不好啊?
我说我想唱歌给他听。。。
歌是没唱，不过他倒是跟我说了1个小时多的电话。。。
哈哈。。。

新人说，你今天怪怪的，心情不好啊？
我问，你凭什么说我心情不好？
他说，感觉。。。
我再问，那么凭你的感觉，我是因为什么而心情不好？
他没有再回复了。。。
大概给我吓倒了。。。
我真恐怖。。。

诗人说他心事重重。。。
他的诗依然写不完。。。我还是常常在收。。。
我说诗人啊。。。你啊，就不要那么诗人了。。。正常一点吧。。。
哈哈。。。不过你这种特别气质是找不到的。。。

然后，海豚他这两天都有sms我。。。
感觉上他心情不好。。。
不是我。。。
不过，让他处理他的感情事吧。。。

cheesecake说他之前崩溃。。。
我也不懂究竟发生了什么事情。。。我想我太久没有update他的消息吧。。。
可怜的他。。。唉。。。
过后再update一下吧。。。

最后呢。。。
谈话内容大概是这样，我很累要睡觉了。。。所以不记得。。。
“你好吗？”
“很好。。。谢谢。。。怎么突然sms我？”
“就很久没有你的消息啊。。。没什么事情。。。就突然想问你好不好。。。”
“好啊，追求你的梦想是好事！哈哈”
“我？我哪里会有什么梦想可言？我跟你不一样。。。你前途无量~！”
“都还没毕业，说什么前途无量？”
“我这次会去，不想在浪费多一次机会。。。anyway如果我说话太情绪化你就别方一回事。。。”
“。。。”

诗人在我们交换诗了之后。。。
我要他以我的标题我要表达的用他的方式写出来。。。
结果我说他写的很短，普通。。。
他给了我一句我觉得很不错的话语。。。
“做领袖的通常要吃苦，装作潇洒，所以不能放太多情感，以免让人觉得婆妈，有功劳硬要大家知道。。。”

看来我不是一个好领袖。。。。。。
有时。。。
真的是很委屈。。。
有苦还要自己吃。。。
毕竟。。。
也没有几个会了解。。。
更没几个会appreciate。。。
人的嘴巴就只会说。。。
说。。。罢了。。。
忘恩负义的人满街扫。。。
就算他的人品没问题。。。智慧没问题。。。
那一些“他”还是会忘恩负义。。。
无论那年我是１７岁，１９岁，还是现在的２１岁。。。